The Art of Detachment: Loving, Letting Go, and Trusting What Comes Next

It’s freezing cold and snowing here in Montreal, Canada, as I write this – one of those days where stepping outside feels like a personal attack.🥶 So, if you are reading this while braving the same icy winds, I hope you are bundled up with a warm drink in hand, staying as cozy as possible.🥰

A view from one corner of my balcony. ❄️

And while we are on the topic of braving things, this post is a little cozy and a little deep – because just like the seasons shift, life moves us from one chapter to another – sometimes gently, sometimes all at once. And with every transition comes the bittersweet art of detachment. So, get comfortable, take a sip of that warm goodness, and let’s dive into this little reflection – one that’s as comforting as it's thought-provoking.

The Bittersweet Art of Letting Go

Have you ever taken a trip down memory lane and tried to sum up all the times you had to leave something behind? Letting go of the Universe’s finest creations – the ones that were so dear to you? Because I did, and that’s exactly what sparked the idea for this post - like a lightbulb moment, but with a touch of sentimental wisdom…because clearly, overthinking is one of my favorite hobbies!😜

Life is this chaotic yet beautiful mess where we cling to the things that bring us warmth – like rays of sunshine cutting through a cold, dark storm. But the thing about rays? You can’t hold them. They shift, change, and eventually slip through our fingers, no matter how tightly we hold on. The only thing you can do is soak in them while they last. And maybe that’s what detachment really is, learning to soak in the moment without trying to hold on forever.

📍Queen Elizabeth Park, Vancouver

And that’s what leaving has always felt like to me. One moment, I am soaking in the golden glow of a place or a connection that feels like home, and the next, it’s already a memory – a quiet shift from something I lived to something I once did. And let’s be real – most of the time, it sucked. That transition from my familiar, cozy point A (my sunshine) to the completely unknown, slightly intimidating point B? Let’s just say, it was rarely a smooth ride – more like a chaotic GPS reroute – but somehow, it always led to something new, and most of the time, even better!

A Life in Transit: Learning to Love and Let Go

I realized I have kinda been unknowingly training for this leaving and starting over marathon for a while now. I would settle down in a place, get comfortable, and then – boom – time to pack up and go. Sometimes, it was due to unforeseen circumstances, other times because I wanted to explore a new city, and occasionally, because life decisions decided to keep things interesting. So, I left places that felt like home, over and over again.

And not just places – I left people who felt like home too. As a pet parent, I even had to leave my baby dog behind (yes, I still miss him every single day!). Due to circumstances beyond my control, he had to stay where he was, even though my heart wished otherwise. I have given up on my favorite belongings more times than I can count. That chai mug that somehow made my mornings better, the perfectly broken-in couch that knew all my lazy-day secrets, and my collection of fridge magnets and souvenirs from the places I traveled to (seriously, why are fridge magnets always the first casualty of moving?). It didn’t matter whether it was people, cities, keepsakes, or pets – each goodbye took a little piece of my heart with it. The go-to spots in the cities I lived in, the inside jokes with loved ones, the cozy familiarity of routines – it all became part of this never-ending cycle of leaving and starting over. With every goodbye, I unknowingly built resilience. Even when I didn’t want to.

Rio ❤️

At its core, that’s what this whole journey has been about – parting ways with the things that held a special place in my heart. A continuous lesson in loving deeply while learning to let go.

The Other Side of Leaving: Finding Growth in Goodbyes

And I guess, on another note, this one goes out to all the international students, expats, and anyone who has ever packed up their life to start fresh somewhere new. You have made countless sacrifices – big and small – and you are still making them. When you leave the place where you were raised, you are not just leaving behind familiar streets and routines – you are leaving behind family, and loved ones who have been a part of your world for as long as you can remember. And deep down, you know that when you return, you won’t be coming back as the same person.

That unfamiliar, unknown point B you are moving to? It’s not just a new address; it’s a force that will reshape you. The experiences, the struggles, and the sheer unpredictability of that place will mold you into someone you might not even recognize when you look back. And at some point, you realize that you don’t truly belong anywhere anymore.

Now, if you focus on the heavy side of that realization, it can feel like a never-ending spiral(been there, done that!). But the beauty of it? You get to choose how you see it. As human beings, we have our shared human condition – flawed, fragile, yet somehow resilient. We go through similar emotions, whether we acknowledge them or not. That’s why I am not here to deep dive into the hardships, because, let’s be honest, we all understand that part too well. Instead, I want to shift the focus to something we often forget – the positive side of it all.❤️

And that’s exactly why I am writing this– to remind you of what we gain from all this leaving, shifting, and evolving. Because at the end of the day, that’s the real focus of this blog. So, let’s reframe this in a way that brings comfort and clarity – one that reminds us of the growth, the lessons, and the beauty in it all. I am sharing this whole experience to give you a glimpse into the insights and lessons I have gathered along the way – lessons I didn’t even realize I was learning at the time.

Packing Up a Life: More Than Just Suitcases

A journey that started in London (Canada, not the UK!😜), then took me to Toronto, Kitchener, Calgary, and finally, to Montreal…!!!

Like many international students, I left my hometown and family in India to move to Canada and build a life here. The hardest part? Until then, I had never lived away from my family. So, to say I was unprepared would be an understatement – I had no clue about anything.

The next hardest part? Trying to fit my entire life into a couple of suitcases. If you have watched Never Have I Ever on Netflix, you might remember one of the main characters Devi Vishwakumar – bold, expressive, and painfully relatable – perfectly summing up the feeling of leaving home when she said, “And... how am I supposed to pack my whole life into one stupid suitcase?” I felt that. Because leaving home isn’t just about stuffing belongings into a bag – it’s about leaving behind your family, familiar streets, and the warmth of everything you have ever known. And how do you pack that?

Never Have I Ever - Season 4

From Clueless Beginnings to Intentional Growth

I landed in London, Ontario, wide-eyed and clueless, thinking I had it all figured out. Looking back at that version of myself now? I see someone so naive and unaware that life was about to pull a full 180 on her. Her goals, her vision – none of it aligns with what I am pursuing today or what I actually want in life now. Back then, I was just going through the motions, doing things because that’s what society expected. But that’s a whole other story for another day! The bottom line? I kept moving, and now, here I am!

And I won’t sugarcoat it – leaving was always the hardest part. But looking back, I realize I was unintentionally training my mind each time. I was strengthening my ability to detach, to adapt, and to embrace change. And once you build that mindset muscle, leaving still stings, but you start shifting your focus – you learn to see the good in it, too.

I truly believe in the Universe and its beautifully well-crafted plans. If certain people, places, or things were not meant to continue with me on my path, then I take that as a sign – it was never part of the bigger picture. And every time I resisted, life showed me why I had to move forward. And so, instead of resisting, I accept reality and move forward with a positive mindset, knowing that something even better is being lined up for me.

Through every transition, I have observed myself closely. It’s a surreal feeling to realize that, over time, I have grown into someone my past self would have looked up to. The version of me that once struggled with goodbyes wouldn’t have even imagined the experiences I have had, the strength I have built, and most importantly – the art of detachment I have learned along the way. If she could time travel and see me now, I am pretty sure she wouldn’t have resisted change the way she once did.

And that realization? It shifts everything. Because just like I am a product of my past self’s journey, my present self is also the past version of my future self. And I truly believe the Universe has plans for her that I can’t even begin to imagine yet. That belief alone helps me embrace every departure with ease, knowing that each ending is simply making space for what’s next. Detachment, then, isn’t about losing – it’s about trusting what is ahead.

On another note, the art of detachment is something life has taught me through countless experiences. And don’t get me wrong – it doesn’t mean staying away from love. You can love people, places, and everything in between without attaching yourself to them, without tying expectations to anyone or anything. The past seven years have shaped this mindset in me – learning to love while staying detached. Because when you cling too tightly to a certain outcome, a person, or a place, you risk disappointment. You become so fixated on what should be that you miss the bigger picture – one that could be even better than what you had envisioned.

When it’s time to leave, it’s simply time. Our story with a place, a person, or a moment has reached its natural conclusion. Maybe we have experienced all we were meant to, or perhaps we have outgrown the alignment we once had with them. Either way, detachment isn’t about loss – it’s about trusting that life is moving us exactly where we need to be. Another perspective I have gained from my experiences is that time, space, and distance have a way of revealing everything we once struggled to understand. And when you allow yourself to step back, you begin to see that every ending, every departure, carries a hidden gift – you just have to look at the bright side of it.

Letting Go: Not as Dramatic as It Sounds (Okay, Maybe a Little!)

The interesting thing is – once you leave your permanent home, you start to realize that you don’t truly belong anywhere. But that’s not a loss; it’s actually the most freeing thing. You are not bound by a single place, a single identity, or a single version of yourself. You are fluid, ever-evolving, limitless. Isn’t that the essence of freedom? To exist without constraints, to move without attachment while staying open to love, to embrace life as it unfolds without needing to hold on too tightly?

For me, it absolutely is. I can go anywhere, reinvent myself, and play different roles in different chapters of my life – without being tied down. And that’s what I love most about this journey of detachment. It’s not about cutting off emotions or avoiding love – it’s about knowing that I am whole no matter where life takes me, no matter what circumstances force me to leave behind. I trust that the right people and places, the ones truly meant for me, will always find their way back. And love – the kind that is real and unforced – will always flow where it is meant to.

Change, detachment, and new beginnings have a way of sneaking up on you – kind of like a plot twist you didn’t see coming but somehow have to roll with. It hasn’t always been easy, but somehow, it always leads to something unexpected and meaningful. So, I am embracing it fully, doing the best I can with what I have, and trusting that the Universe is holding treasures for me in places I haven’t even imagined yet. Maybe detachment isn’t about letting go – it’s about trusting that what’s meant for you will always find its way back.

And that’s a wrap on this deep dive – whew, some serious stuff! But I hope somewhere in this, you have found a perspective that makes you reflect on your own journey with a little more warmth and lightness. So, whether you are in the middle of a transition or just here for the cozy reflections – thanks for reading!😇❤️ Now, go refill that drink, reflect a little, and most importantly – keep embracing whatever comes next!🙌🏻