The Truth of Outgrowing

I sat in my old favorite cafe and had an inconvenient realization.

So here I am, sitting at this cafe 49th Parallel again.

After nearly eight months, I am back at the same cafe. Same corner. Same table.

And it doesn’t feel the same.

I am looking at this version of myself who has changed a lot, and right now, as I am writing this, I am confused.

It is hard to explain what I am feeling.

On this note, I just realized something I have been quietly clinging to for a while.

Since I landed in Montreal from India, I have been constantly thinking about how everything has changed here. I remember posting a reel about it on my social media.

But the strange part is, nothing has really changed.

I have changed.

Maybe that is why I have been looking at Montreal through different lenses.

Working on the new launch for my art page and pretending I am calm!!!

I realized I don’t like too much noise anymore. I realized it earlier today when I was sitting at 49th Parallel, trying to work and have coffee, and the music started bothering me.

And yes, for a second I genuinely thought, oh my God, am I becoming that person who gets annoyed by loud music and too many people now? When did this happen?

But also, to be honest, I don’t think it was just about the music.

Then I walked by the famous St. Catherine Street, where the Jazz Festival is happening right now, and instead of feeling excited, it felt suffocating. Too many people. Too much music. Too much noise.

I kind of went back to the version of me who was here last year, walking through the same streets, loving the same chaos, and none of it bothered her.

Now it does.

Whenever I walk on this street, which I have been doing quite a few times because my Airbnb is on the same street, I see people, music, crowds, noise, and something in me just wants to turn the other way.

So yes, something has certainly changed.

And that made me realize how fast things change.

I guess this is the truth of outgrowing something.

Sometimes we take longer to admit that we have outgrown certain places, cities, environments, and versions of life than we take to actually outgrow them.

I think I had already outgrown Montreal before I left for India.

And saying that does not mean I was never in love with this city.

I was. Very much!!!

For a long time, Montreal felt like a little world I belonged to. I cherished it. I enjoyed it. I collected memories here. I loved the cafes, the streets, the corners, the randomness, the way this city could make an ordinary day feel like a tiny adventure.

So this is not me dismissing that love.

This is me realizing that love can be real and still not be where you are meant to stay.

And that is where it gets tricky.

Because when you have loved a place, a person, a version of life, or even a version of yourself, you don’t always notice when love slowly turns into attachment.

You keep calling it love because that is what it used to be.

But sometimes, what you are holding onto is not the thing itself anymore. It is the memory of how it made you feel when you were a different version of yourself.

I think that is what happened with Montreal.

I was just clinging to the familiarity of it.

I was attached to how known it felt, without asking myself if it still felt right.

And weirdly, this applies to so many other things too.

Sometimes we cling to an old identity without realizing it has already stopped fitting us. We are already in the middle of a transition, but we keep holding onto the old version of life because at least we know it.

We know the chaos, the discomfort and we know how to survive there.

And because we know it, we confuse it with home.

But comfort can be tricky like that. It can make something look safe just because it is familiar.

And then one day, you sit in the same cafe, on the same chair, with the same coffee, and your body quietly tells you, “This is not it anymore.”

I think we have to learn to recognize that exact point.

The point where something feels familiar, but no longer feels like home; where staying feels easier, but leaving feels more honest; where you realize you are not stuck because there are no options, you are stuck because you are still trying to fit into a version of life you have already outgrown.

I am saying this with love, but also with the energy of someone gently shaking your shoulders.

There are moments when the truth is not dramatic. It does not arrive with some big sign from the universe. Sometimes it is just you sitting in a cafe you used to love, realizing your heart is not reaching for it anymore.

And that kind of honesty can be uncomfortable.

Because once you see something clearly, you cannot really "unsee" it.

You can delay the decision. You can romanticize the past. You can tell yourself you are just being emotional or confused. You can keep walking the same streets and ordering the same coffee and hoping the old feeling comes back.

But deep down, you know.

And when that moment comes, we have to let go, no matter how comfortable the old version feels.

Just because the path ahead is unknown does not mean we have to stay stuck.

Sometimes the unfamiliar path is the one that takes us closer to ourselves.

Sometimes that is the path that gets us home.

So please, take the leap of faith.

You got this.

You deserve this.

On another note, I think my subconscious had already recognized this misalignment when I was in Montreal last year, preparing to visit India. I think that is why I already made another life-altering decision back then.

And now I only have this month left before I move.

When I came back here from India this year, I thought I would spend the rest of my time here loving and cherishing the city. I thought I would visit the places I used to love and feel everything again.

And I am doing that gradually. But it doesn’t feel the way I expected it to.

And that says everything.

This gave me the reassurance I needed.

This is exactly why I made the decision to move.

And trust me, it does not mean I am not afraid. I am very much afraid.

I am afraid of the unknown, of starting again, of leaving what I know, of stepping into something I cannot fully explain yet.

But I also know that every time I have looked at my life honestly and made a move from that place, something in me has changed.

Something opened.

Something returned to me.

And I think that is what these decisions do. They don’t just change your location, your routine, or your surroundings.

They change the way you see yourself.

As for where I am moving, I will reveal that soon.

For now, this is it.🙌🏻

Treat this as your little sign to get your head out of your butt if you are stuck somewhere, or with something, or inside an old version of yourself that no longer feels like you.

And yes, this is me saying it with love and brutal honestly, because sometimes seeing the truth clearly is the first thing that sets you free.

See the reality for what it is.

Make the move.

Do something about it.

Even if you are scared.

Especially if a part of you already knows.

Also, I hope great and amazing things are happening for you.💜

Byee.✨